2 yrs really?

You know, it's still really hard. I lost a beloved pet back in 2009, and I'm still crying right around the same time. 2 years ago I lost a very special friend, and I still think about him. Oct. 27th, Lt Dan (Danny) my guinea pig had lost his finally battle with a respetory illness. I was devastated.

I had adopted him six years before and about six months in, he got really sick. My vet said I should put him down, but maybe I was being selfish, I couldn't do it. Other than the occational wheezing, that piggy was spoiled rotten. So I nursed him. He got better. He defied what odd the vet gave him and I got another five years. He was my constant friend. I loved coming home from work and pulling him onto my bed, just so I could unwind. He was the best listener, especially when I was having it out with my ex. He loved nothing more than to sit on my shoulder and nuzzle me, like he understood. Or hide in my hoodie pocket keeping my fingers warm. On and off we battled his 2nd degree pneumonia, well after I got up the strength to walk away from my ex. Sometimes I think Danny waited. He wanted to make sure I was ok. Because those were some dark days- right after the final break. Danny would bring me out of my darkness with his squeals of "you're home! You're home!" my mom thought it was the funniest thing in the world that he knew when I got home. He always did. And he also knew I would be bringing him some treat too-usually a pepper or apple.

The night he passed I remember, I had come home early from work and decided to order out. While waiting I pulled danny out to cuddle a bit. He seemed more tired than usual, but more than happy to snuggle. I returned him to his cage when I went to retreave the food and it wasn't until I was done and had returns to pull him out again did I see him labor with breathing. I tried to clear his nasle passage way and even went as far as using his medical dropped to help push air into his lungs, but even as he lay gasping on my bed and I knew he was slipping, I got the feeling that he was just glad I was there, trying. Even though it was hopeless. That was the hardest part, trying and feeling him slip away. Mom said it was meant to be. But all I wanted was Danny to breathe. Thankfully I still lived at home then. I doubt I could have buried him on my own. My dad told me I would not be in the right frame of mind and I wasn't. I didn't start really sobbing until I had returned to my room. And it just seems that right around his death anniversary I get choked up. I mean I had gotten a beta fish who sits with me at work, but you can't pet a fish.

I know I want another pig, but I hesitate because I live with my sister, and she had a serious allergic reaction when I got around to cleaning out his stuff. I really want another little buddy because she has her fiancé and can see Indy (the family dog) daily when she goes to work. I don't have that. my current bf is on the opposite coast and I get to see him a month out of the year. And because we moved out she doesn't have to worry about reporting to our mother so she can come home whenever, but for me, walking into an empty home is a sad thing. Thankfully, I haven't resorted to covering my fridge with take out menues. Not that I ever will, ordering out annoys me half the time.

New show: Once Upon A Time

So I don't normally do this, but I ended up watching this new ABC show Once Upon A Time. Best decision today. Not only did I get to see a sort of fantasy show inter-cut with reality scenes, but there were twists with the original fairy tales that were being introduced. Now the show was only one hour, not the normal 2 hr promo my sister and I thought, but it was overall really well done. Left me sitting there wondering why there was no more, but I can wait.

The idea starts with Snow White and Prince Charming's child being the one who could save the "happily ever after" that one expects of a fairy tale, and enters the realm of where such things don't normally exists like magic. We see characters that we are familiar with as well as their mundane selves (because they have no memory of it) and it's sad to watch. But the transitions from one story line to the back story line are great and I'm definitely excited to find out what happens next week.

Sad realization

So I've come to the terrible conclusion today that I have an eating disorder- or lack thereof. I mean I don't really eat. Yes this is a form of starving myself, but I am not annorecix nor am I bulimic (can't stand throwing up). I came to this sad conclusion based on the fact that I am still bothered by society's veiw on desirable females and this odd sort of discipline I have. I normally eat twice a day and with a serious look at it, I know it's not nearly enough. A slimfast in the morning and whatever else I choose at night. Yeah I know I'm hungry during the day. I can feel how crabby I can get towards the end of my day and like there is a pressure or thinning of my face. I know that there is that hollow feeling somewhere in my stomache, but honestly at this point I am not really hungry, but it would be a good idea to eat. Yet I don't. I have no idea why I don't, but I'm (mentally) just not hungry, or I should say not interested in food. I really think that qualifies as a sort of eating disorder. Knowing that kind of scares ms honestly, but at the same time it does not have me running to the nearest convenient store looking for something to snack on.
And that's another strange point- I don't snack. I work mainly at a computer an never picked up that habit.

Hhhhooootttt

So I've been having problems with the ac. Today a repair guy is supposed to come out, but I have yet to hear from them. Thenichally I have another hour to wait- but I've had ac problems since moving here in April. grrr stupid ac. Thankfully it's actually nice out so I have windows open and everything.

Can't wait until it gets fixed. It's really one of the last major things that needs to be taken care of. We already removed the overhaning branches from the roof and cleaned mold from the furnace. And the house looks so much better after we painted it. Gah- this first year of being out on my own both sucks and is pretty cool.

I almost wonder what will happen when I go and look back at what all I had to deal with for this. *shrug* At least I had my first stay-in guests as my grandparents. That's something to be proud of.

AC hates me

So I haven't been posting in a while and I've been supremely miserable. My AC finally crapped out on me and I'm not happy. I got my house at the end of March and it was working fine (not that we really needed it then) and I didn't really start moving in until about a week into April. Things were fine, we knew the heater was working and we suffered through finding mold in the furnace (not fun!) and everything was ok for a while up until it started getting hot. Seriously, you would think it would be a bit milder, but no- we had actual heat. And it was all driving me nuts- excess heat and humidity are not my friends. So I've been trying to get my warrenty company to come out and fix this problem, but unfortunatley for me my paperwork was turned in late and my policy didn't start until mid-may. WTF?! They seriously would not come out and help and I didn't get straigth answers until I told one person that this was unacceptable- I fixed my first problem and now I have a new one, you need to come out and fix this please! So now I have to wait until after tomorrow. And even then it may be a few more days after that if they can fix it at all.

Mom wasn't kidding when she meantioned the first year being a pain in the butt!

Oh my

So this past thursday was my baby sister's final concert. It's hard to believe that she's all grown up and ready to graduate. One of the ironic things (mainly because I remembered this) was that she performed the song "Sisters". I sang that song for final concert at the end of my freshman year before we ended up at her current school. It was cute though. Best part was that our grandparents were there to see that. So I spent the last couple of days hanging around with them. But this past weekend- I spent doing yard work on top of everything else.

A family friend came out to help top some of the trees that were overhanging my roof. As that was going on their daughter was helping me move them back and making a sort of "fort" with the fallen branches. It was cute. Cleaning that stuff up sucked though- I was fairly sore later.
I would try mowing the lawn today but the grass is wet and they are calling for storms all week.

And this morning my parents took one of their dogs to the vet because she had an open sore on her face from a blown nerve. I feel so bad for that dog! This is the second time that it has happened to her. Hopefully, today's surgery should take care of that.

So since moving out, I really haven't had a free weekend to myself. Last week (my first full week) was spent returning home for mother's day weekend to help out around the house. And this week was spent pretty much demoing my trees so they wouldn't destroy my roof in a storm. Maybe I should have taken my grandparents up on getting some wine coolers this weekend.

Officially done.

Well stick a fork in me! Seriously! I've been so busy with this house stuff there are times I'm not even sure what day it is. On the brightside- I have a house! And we're days away from actually moving out of the parents house. By we, I mean me and my sister Meg. I know that my brother was the first to move out, but damnit I'm the oldest-why must I be the responsible (I has plan) sibling? Either way it works well for me.

Right now I have a family friend painting the house and then to fix the odds and ends that I know I have no clue about. And I'm super excited because my room and the designated library/office room have been painted (well, most of the house is officially painted), we just need the powder room, guest room, my bathroom, and Meg's room and then it's all done. So here's the mega shocker- I have a 4 bed, 2 1/2 bath home plus a bonus room that I got for 91.5k. That's a lot of awesome space just for a firstime home buyer.

But it's so time consuming! I mean really- I have to find/make the time to get things done, which I've been pretty good for the most part, but there never seems to be enough time for me to really push to get this stuff done. Plus I work full time in between, so I do have a lot going on in my life right now. Good God, I'm only 25 though! Where's my social life? Oh wait- I know- I don't really have one. But I promised myself that once I get settled I would make myself one. So that's like an added bonus. I'll get it right I know it. My uncle said that he knew I'd do alright and I laughed and told him it was because I was ahead of the learning curve. But I had a ton of amazing people to learn stuff from, so I know what to expect and I'm pretty sure I can handle it.

Paperwork sucks!

Dear Self,

What were we thinking by taking almost a year to find a house? Well, that's really not the problem. The problem is actually all the paperwork involved. Now that we had found a house and everything (the only bad thing is that it needs a lot of paint), there is now a ton of paperwork involved.

I've already signed one version of a contract and now we have to work another on the lending bank's version. Not so bad. The hard thing right now is getting my lender all my forms and such that he needs to verify that I will have the funds for the down payment and such. Grrr....why so much paperwork? Well, I guess they need to be sure since the first couple of contracts they've had on the home actually fell through due to bad credit and/or lack of funds to help pay for the house.

I know I'm in good stead, but at this point....I'm waiting to see if I get more gray hairs from this experiance. But at 25 I'm kind of excited too.